wordpress.com has been OK to work with but there have been quite a few things that I wish to do with the site but have been unable to do because of the restrictions that are in place. So I have decided to move my blog from wordpress.com to another hosting company. The new address is http://diaryofasubmissiveman.com, I have transfered all of the posts and comments from this site over to the new site but will keep this site up for at least one year, I hope you will join me on the new site and continue along with my journey.
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Sinful Sunday: Dinner and bondage
A little light hand bondage with Miss for our anniversary
The anniversary
Yesterday was the one month anniversary of the relationship between Miss and I. It has been a wonderful month and I wanted to show Miss how deeply I care and enjoy our relationship. Miss made artichokes (something I have never had before) for an appetizer and I made Miss a flat enchiladas and for dessert we had berries and home made whipped cream. My thoughts on preparing the meal was that I wanted it to be simple yet romantic. Which it was, we even fed each other berries for dessert… Yes I’m a romantic… Deal.
After some make out time we began to talk about what I should post for the next sinful sunday because currently I don’t have too many pictures for it. Miss suggested to do some light hand bondage. So Miss started to bind my hands and explain what she was doing and why. This was my first bondage experience and was delightful. Miss then got out her paddles and did a wonderful job using them on my thighs. Miss saw that I was a bit nervous and made sure I was OK, the main cause for my nervousness was that I was not expecting play and felt a little like I had a pop quiz sprung on me. Miss then had me lay down and used the paddles on the back of my legs.
After the play session Miss snuggled up to me and told me I did a good job. Once I was re-centered from the play we began to make out… again, then foreplay and sex with Miss. Due to a number of reasons which I won’t go into, this was our first time together and it was fantastic. After some more cuddling, making out and other wholesome family activities we went to bed together… Another first. This was the perfect ending to our anniversary, laying next to the person that gives me so much joy in my life.
I love you Miss…
The Text
I took a deep breath as I reread the text that Miss sent me. “You will lay out my toys on the bed my pet, strip down and kneel in front of the door.” I followed the words of Miss’ text to the letter putting the flogger that I had just finished at the beginning of the line, working from the floggers to the paddles the canes and ending with Miss’ harnessless strapon. Then I stripped and waited for Miss to come.
The wait seamed to take an eternity but Miss finally walked through the door wearing her boots, a short black skirt and a deep red top. “Hello Princess” I said. Miss quirked a small smile and I noticed the gleam within her eyes. “Oh pet you can great me properly. Can’t you?” I started to rise and say yes but Miss forced me back down saying “Did I give you permission to get up?” I quickly responded, “No Princess, may I get up to great you properly?”
“Alright, get up and give me my proper greeting.” Was Miss’ response. I rose and gave Miss a kiss on her lips and a hug. “Good pet, now get me some water.” I followed her orders as Miss made her way to the bedroom and began removing her boots. Miss was examining the layout of the toys as I returned with her drink. “Nicely done.” Miss commented with her hands holding the new flogger, The purple of the leather matching perfectly with Miss’ fingernails. “Why don’t you stand against the wall.” Miss told me, still holding the flogger.
I positioned myself against the wall with my hands above my head and my backside fully exposed to be a canvas for Miss. I started taking deep breaths, anticipating the first strike but it did not come. Instead I felt Miss’ body press against me, her mouth on the back of my neck. Miss alternating at random from kissing to biting my neck, making me moan at each bite and sigh at each kiss. “Are you ready pet?” she asked me, and then bit down hard. “yes” was the only word I could utter from under the delightful pain Miss was inflicting on me.
Miss started slow with the flogger, the steady sound of thwap becoming rhythmic and soon picked up pace. Moan after moan exiting my lips. The thought that I made this weapon of my own destruction was on my mind after each strike from it. Soon Miss was working down the line of interments laid out for her. Miss finally arrived at the canes. She knew I did not have much experience with sharp stinging pain but knew that I wanted to learn. The whoosh sound from the cane as it signaled its arrival was the only sense I could discern as the first strike hit my ass, working ever so slowly and making sure I was all right.
Miss finished her canvas, my back, ass and thighs was bright red. Miss leaned into my ear and asked, “You did such a wonderful job. Are you ready for your reward?” Catching my breath I sighed out “Yes Princess.” Miss gave an evil grin and said, “Get into position.” I crawled onto the bed an assumed the doggie position as Miss inserted the strapon and lubed it up. Miss guided her cock into my ass, turned on the bullet and then grabbed my shoulders for leverage. Miss worked at a teasing pace just slow enough to keep my thoughts on the cock going in and out of my ass. Miss started breathing heavier and heavier and picked up the tempo of her fucking. Miss’ right hand slid my shoulder to my throat. Moaning she began to squeeze tighter and tighter, I knew she was about to cum. Miss’ body started to shake the moans and obstinacies coming from her mouth getting louder, any second now I knew she was going to cum. Suddenly splashes of warm pussy juice hit my legs. Slowly Miss removed the strapon. I said “Thank you Princess.” and we lay there, both out of breath and in each other’s arms.
Second play scene…. and a bit more
On Friday Miss and I got to have a second play scene. It was a spanking session with a variety of Miss’ toys and Miss’ hand. Since this was a lot different than the fire cupping scene I learned a few things. The main thing I learned was the need to eat beforehand, this makes sense to me now but I never read or heard anything about the need to do this. I already knew that one should also eat afterwards. I also found out a little bit about what I want in aftercare; I’ll talk about this a little more later.
After Miss instructed me to eat and I did so, I laid down on my bed and Miss took out several different toys. The paddles are not things that you will see in the “kinky” section of a porn store; They are as thick as a thumb. Miss also had several wooden spoons, a small small leather and fur paddle with a piece of steel running through the center, a braided rope, and two hairbrush paddles, one with the brush in place and one that was shaped like a hairbrush.
It was a bit intimidating to see Miss pull these items and lay them down, knowing that she was going to use them on me. Miss started off lightly and made sure that I was doing good throughout the scene. Miss used a variety of the toys including a spoon, a hairbrush paddle, the steel reinforced paddle and my ping pong paddle. When Miss got to the the large paddle with the holes it was a very intense. I remember distinctively one really hard hit Miss gave me with that paddle; I arched my back high up afterwards and heard Miss’ caring words making sure I was alright. After the large paddle Miss moved back to a hairbrush paddle. While Miss did this she clawed my back. Miss’ clawing drives me wild, whenever Miss does this I want to kiss her. After some more of the hairbrush paddle Miss asked me if I wished to stop the scene, which I did. I did this because I wish to go slow, there will be plenty more times which we will play together and I don’t want to bite off more than I can chew at this early of a stage.
For aftercare Miss and I snuggled for a bit. Miss noticed that my feet were cold, my extremities are naturally cold but I will be more conscious of this in following scenes. Our snuggling turned into heavy kissing and then into deep foreplay. I enjoyed this as aftercare, to give Miss orgasms is something I enjoy deeply, but to give Miss an orgasm after a scene heightens the experience immensely.
After some relaxing I made Miss and I dinner, I always enjoy cooking for people I care about and it made me happy that I could do this for Miss. Our plans for later in the evening was to go to a burlesque show. So as the time approached that we had to leave I wished to give Miss another orgasm. After I gave miss a few orgasms and being interrupted by the alarm Miss set, Miss asked me if I would jerk off and cum on her breasts. Both of us were worked up into a frenzy and I started to jerk off, making sure I rubbed her breasts with my cock. Miss has very sensitive nipples and can orgasm through breast play alone, which I find extremely sexy. As Miss’ moans started to signal that she was going to cum any second I felt myself reaching the same point, we came together like it was out of an erotic story but it was a hundred times better.
Miss and I got ready and went to the show, during this time I got Miss her drinks, I really enjoyed doing this for Miss. We had a fabulous time at the show. Miss knows that I tend to be shy and that I want to get over this. So Miss introduced me around to some of her friends, it still is hard talking to most strangers but it is something that I will continue to work on.
A month into my journey
It has been a little over a month since I began this journey and I would like to take a small look back to see how things are going.
Even though I have not played much, I have discovered a few things that I enjoy that I thought I would not have. Some of which are fire cupping, giving deep love bites to Miss, and high electrical play with a violet wand.
I am much more relaxed and happy overall in my life. I have started to be more open to people, where I would usually depart with a hand shake now I hug. I’m in a wonderful relationship with Miss and know that she cares for me. I have made many new friends who I get to see on a regular basis.
I am very glad that I started this trek, it took me a while to get here but I believe that I have found my place.
A small rant…
The other day I received an instant message from someone who is a member of a yahoo group that I’m a member of. They explained that they were new to the group and wanted to know a few things, which is all fine. What really got to me was that towards the end of the chat they expressed interest in play. They had access to my age, sex, and D/s orientation, they did not know any of my kinks, what I looked like or personality. I did not know them, their age, sex, D/s, kinks, looks, or personality. This really irked me, how do you get to know someone in a five minute chat session and decide that you want to play on any level.
A few days after this they came back and suddenly asked me if Miss had collared me because I had said that Miss was considering me as a sub in my previous chat session. After I went through the story again they did not send any more messages. I have been wondering what they really wanted and the only thing that makes any since to me was a NSA play partner.
Now I have no problem with those who wish to seek out this kind of relationship, but this isn’t for me. The reason why I want to serve Miss or anyone else for that matter is because I care for them.
Sinful Sunday: The start of my kink bag
Here’s a few things that I’ve started to collect for my kink bag!
edited photo: forgot to include the paint I got on Friday
Fun at a workshop
Yesterday I had the opportunity to attend a workshop put on by a local adult store, it was about female sexual pleasure and desire. There was a lot that I learned and a few things that I wish to try on Miss. The workshop was great, the speaker was very knowledgeable and brought a positive energy to it. There were a few things that surprised me about the attendees though. The first surprise is that there were only two couples who attended. I had hoped that more men would come out and maybe learn something about how to better please their partner. This social phobia of men talking about a woman’s sexual function is something that should change. For me talking and understanding what pleases my partner is very important. Another surprise for me was the lack of attendees, there were approximately a dozen people who showed up. Maybe this shouldn’t surprise me but it really did. I know our culture tends to gloss over sex. The “sex is bad unless you’re married but its still dirty” ideology needs to change. As adults we are free to choose our attitudes towards sex but a lot of people still choose to see sex as a dirty little secret, this way of thinking just help propagate negative connotations of sex. The third thing that surprised me was the fact that quite a few of the questions were about female ejaculation. I admit that I was a fan of squirting from the moment that I saw my first squirt video but I wouldn’t have thought that many women would want to explore these types of orgasms. The one thing that didn’t surprise me however was the fact that I knew over half of the attendees from the local kink community, I think this shows that by being more open to sexual exploration you are more willing to learn about sex.
Munches and what they mean for me
The other day I got into a discussion about munches on fetlife. I’ll be one of the first posters to people who are asking where to begin to say “come out to a munch!” The first munch I went to was such a positive experience and I hope that most people can begin their journey into the world of BDSM in such a way. In the vanilla world I have the tendency to be a lot more reserved then when I’m with fellow kinksters. The fact that I can be myself at these get togethers is probably one of the most important things for me. To be myself in a social setting is very liberating when I’ve built up emotional walls to most people. Another important aspect is that I can ask questions. Being so new to the world of kink every time I go to an event I learn something new. The final reason that I’ll leave you with is that munches are a great way to meet new and interesting people. The local community is very welcoming and always willing to accept new members. These are just a few of the reasons why I go to munches and why I’m always excited to go.
A Diary of a Submissive Man 